In a wild high-speed police chase, a trailerless semi truck flees authorities with a man clinging to the back of the vehicle. The truck eventually slows down enough to allow the man no the back to jump off, where he falls, gets up, and then seems to wander around. The man driving the truck is forced out by about a dozen police and wrestled to the ground after the truck stops, although not without some difficulty.
> A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a
> preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water
> and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and
> is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,
>
“Are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk answers, “Yes, I am.” So the
> preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks
> the drunk, “Brother, have you found Jesus?” The drunk replies, “No, I
> haven’t found Jesus.”
>
> The preacher shocked at the answer; dunks him into the water again for a
> little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks
> again, “Have you found Jesus, my brother?” The drunk again answers, “No, I
> haven’t found Jesus.”
>
> By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the
> water again— but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and
> when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again
> asks
the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?”
>
> The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the
> preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?
Three men were digging a hole when they found a lamp. The first
man rubbed it and out popped a genie. He said, “Poof, I will grant
each of you one wish.”
The first man said, “I wish to be smart and handsome.”
The genie’s reply, “Poof you’re a lawyer.”
The second man said, “I wish to be twice as smart and twice as
handsome.
”Poof, you’re a doctor.”
The third man said, “I wish to be three times as smart and three
times as handsome.”
A passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a terrible storm.
The plane gets pounded by rain, hail, wind and lightning.
The passengers are screaming. They are sure the plane is going to
crash and that they are all going to die.
At the height of the storm, a young woman jumps up and exclaims,
”I can’t take this anymore! I can’t just sit here and die like an
animal, strapped into a chair. If I am going to die,let me at
least die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to
make me feel like woman?”
What I Want In A Man, ORIGINAL List
———————————–
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover