Joketing.com

> A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a  
> preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water  
> and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and  
> is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,  
>  
“Are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk answers, “Yes, I am.” So the  
> preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks  
> the drunk, “Brother, have you found Jesus?” The drunk replies, “No, I  
> haven’t found Jesus.”  
>  
> The preacher shocked at the answer; dunks him into the water again for a  
> little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks  
> again, “Have you found Jesus, my brother?” The drunk again answers, “No, I  
> haven’t found Jesus.”  
>  
> By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the  
> water again— but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and  
> when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again  
> asks  
the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?”  
>  
> The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the  
> preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?

Christian One Liners  
 
Don’t let your worries get the
best of you;  remember, Moses started  
out as a basket case. 
  Read more…

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate
funeral. A huge heart covered
in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy,
the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The
heart then closed,
sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At
that point, one of the
mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at
him, he said, “I’m
sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral…I’m a
gynecologist.”